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Productivity and Persuasion When we learn to persuade, we have the added bonus of being able to use our persuasion skills on ourselves. We are able to naturally accomplish anything when we can self-persuade. Reframing Habits Habits... they come in all forms. Most people think of habits as the irritating things you wish you didn't "have" to do, fingernail biting, knuckle cracking, compulsive snacking, cigarette smoking. Of course smoking is more of a psychological/physical need that is satisfied by another cigarette, so is a little bit more than a habit. Watching What You Say Language is a skill and an art, as is persuasion, and both can most definitely be mangled and turned into a disadvantage if used improperly. Unless you're a child prodigy, as Mozart was with composing and playing music, as H.P. Lovecraft was with writing poems, and as Pablo Picasso was artistically, then you will most likely have to practice whichever art you choose to become good at. Reframing With Authority: Whoever Has the Best Frame, Wins Has this ever happened to you? You're driving down the freeway, maybe a little too fast, maybe not, and those red and blue lights begin to flash in your rear view mirror. So you pull over and prepare your papers. . . license, registration, proof of insurance. And the law enforcement officer makes his way to your window, quickly so as to not waste your time, and politely says, 'Hi. . .I'm just wondering if you . . .I'm so sorry to bother you. But would you mind showing me your license and registration? I think there might have been a slight infraction of the law and I'd really like to clear it up if you don't mind. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience.' Two Sides of the Same Coin "You will make more friends in a week by getting yourself interested in other people than you can in a year by trying to get other people interested in you." --Arnold Bennett auditory persuasion Listen to what I'm describing and you'll begin to really hear the way auditory words can describe nearly anything. By orienting your words to work with people who process things auditorily, you will find it deeply resonating with them. Soothing tones work with great success as well so by calming your voice you have more of an impact. When you tune into the way people process language, your empathy assists in the rapport building process. above and beyond: how to work with an affluent clientle I saw an article recently about the Ritz Carlton Hotel. It's a perfect example of what needs to be done in order to court and cater to (and persuade) an affluent client base. This is exactly the way to keep your clients interested and involved with you and your product or service. beyond organization If you're anything like me, you're a very busy person. Not only am I busy with regular things--teaching, family, health maintenance--I'm also in the midst of a moving, requiring an added list of what needs to be done. It's hard to believe how much has to be done in a day and because this is on my mind, I'm inspired to write more on the topic of organization as I believe it has helped keep me on even footing in a time of change. big softy I'm curious. . . personal persuasion In all cultures there are certain rules and norms which citizens are expected to adhere to. This is particularly true in "polite society" and business contexts. And while I appreciate the value of rules and norms as a guideline, I always felt some were meant to be bent, if not broken entirely. Curiosity Cultivation I recently came across the following list written/compiled by David Heenan: Ten Keys to Life Fulfillment: 1. Listen to your heart 2. Take one step at a time 3. Deliver daily 4. Maintain a maverick mind-set 5. Focus, focus, focus 6. Never stop learning 7. Build a brain trust (network of knowledgeable people) 8. Reinvent Yourself 9. Sell Yourself 10. Start now! History--it's All Frames "If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail." --Abraham H. Maslow Linguistical Pitfalls Part Two It seems a few of you are paying attention. That thrills me. In part one of this article I talked about the eight pitfalls we have in language though I only cited four of them--but, if, try, might. The comments at the end of my blog entry on the above topic proves that open loops work. Towards And Away: The 'away' Perspective Before I get into the 'away' perspective in the towards/away continuum, I want to make a distinction between a truly negative personality and a person who is inclined towards moving away from a problem. Persuading Kinesthetically: Touchy Feely Here's part three in the four part series of articles about the representational systems of communication. Previously I wrote an overview of the different systems and how we can use these to gain rapport for easier persuasion and then went into more detail about visual language. Well, with a title containing the words 'touchy feely' this can only be about kinesthetic language, words that describe things in a way so as to be touching and feeling. Listening To Yourself With My Ears My students often request that I listen to their speeches and presentations to comment on what I see as their strengths and weaknesses in their persuasion skills. Unfortunately, I haven't discovered a way to exist without sleep and I don't have enough hours in a day to do everything that I want to do and everything that is requested of me. Getting Deeper Into Persuasion Continuums I recently wrote an article about "Persuasion Continuums" which is one of the slickest tools you can use in persuasion. I'm back for more and am thrilled to give a little bit of a deeper look at this phenomenal tool. Persuading Kinesthetically: Touchy Feely In a previous article, I gave an overview of VAK (recap: these are the visual, auditory and kinesthetic representational systems) and it's use in persuasion and gaining rapport. I also went into more detail about the 'V' (visual) in VAK in another article and obviously, with a title like having to do with touchy feely, I've moved on to the 'K' part, kinesthetic. The Use Of Scapegoats In Persuasion "United We Stand". For a while there nearly every other car in the country had a bumper sticker appealing to us to stand united, implicitly suggesting that this was our only salvation, because what happens when we don't stand united? That's right. We fall divided. Sugar Is Essential: Reframing Or Lying? As I was doing some internet research recently, I came across a banner ad that said, "Skip artificals. Go natural. Sugar: sweet by nature. Only 15 calories per teaspoon." How Not To Become A Billionaire 1. Wait for approval or permission from society. I Presuppose So Presupposition is one of the most powerful persuasion techniques I know of. At the core of it, a presupposition is assuming a position or thought that our prospects have to take for granted and believe in order for what we're telling them to make sense. This happens without us having to name what it is that we're even talking about. Building Your Persuasion Muscle If you don't know it by now, I'm a changed man. My life and health have become drastically improved in the last few years by way of shedding 140+ pounds of fat, adopting a healthy relationship to food and learning to love the gym and exercise. The Synergy Of Affluence As a recent addition to my coaching club, I've added one-on-one calls. Together, my students and I have delved into all kinds of stuff from persuasion and affluence attraction to more spiritually oriented matters to, you name it. It's open, personal access in which my members come to me with things that maybe they're stuck on or things they just want to get better at. Trying On Someone Else's Skin You've heard the saying; you can't know someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. This is a technique on how to gain rapport by jumping into another person, figuratively walking a mile in their shoes. Harper Lee wrote in To Kill a Mockingbird, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." Begin By Beginning I've said it before, and I'll say it many times: Persuasion is first and foremost the study of human nature. And despite the things that are understandable about human nature, we are still very intricate and complex creatures. If all things were equal, there would still be some people who excel and others who get stuck. A Big, Swift Kick In The Butt Even as a child, I struggled with issues concerning my weight. My body didn't represent how I felt about myself. I saw myself as strong and in control, and clearly, I wasn't in control at least where food and exercise were concerned. Andrew Carnegie once said, "People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents." This struggle with myself was keeping me from fully living, from mastering and having real dominion over myself. It frustrated me immeasurably. To Be (sneaky) Or Not To Be (sneaky) A student of mine recently called me out on an example of presupposition I used wherein I used the relationship between a student and teacher to illustrate my point. She suggested (nicely) that maybe my use of the student/teacher relationship was a little sneaky and maybe I was trying to persuade my students. Ways We Learn: Small Pieces Of Persuasion One of my newer students asked me on a recent call, "Kenrick, how are you able to keep track of all of the different language patterns and persuasion techniques that you know and use? I mean, each time we're on one of these coaching calls, it seems like you're not only using new techniques, but combining two or three or more techniques at once. Sometimes I can't even remember the first step. How can I remember to remember?' Overcoming The Collective Negativity "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." --Seneca, Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD Storytelling For Quick Rapport Here's the scenario: you are face to face with a new prospect and they've heard a little bit about you or your reputation and the kind of person you are to work with, but maybe they still have a few questions, a few defenses up. It's your job to overcome these before they can trust you with their business. The Benefits Of Organization "Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." -Albert Einstein Spare Parts: Segmenting Personality For Sales Persuasion Parts. We are all made up of parts. A part of me wants a bagel with cream cheese, but another part of me really wants to continue to become healthier. Part of me wants to go take a nap, but this other part wants to finish the project I started. We divide ourselves into parts as a way to talk about our experiences. Who's To Blame? "All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy." -Wayne Dyer Small Changes/big Changes 'Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.' --Albert Einstein Persuading With The Thirty Six Chinese Stratagem "So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will win a hundred times in a hundred battles. If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you win one and lose the next. If you do not know yourself or your enemy, you will always lose." -Ancient Chinese Proverb Can You See What I'm Saying? Visual Representational Systems In previous articles I've written about the representational systems we all use in relation to communication and how we see the world (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic being the most widely used) and the value it has in gaining rapport with your affluent prospects and clients. In this article, I want to focus our sites on visual language. How The Media Persuades "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche The Structuring Of Reality "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits Stop Selling On Autopilot Lately I've been updating my computer system. Again. And this requires occasional trips to the local computer chain store. For the most part, I'm in and out in a few minutes, knowing exactly what I want and need. But when I'm looking for a more expensive piece of equipment, I have an experience I call, "Attack of the Sales Zombies'. Reframing Obstacles Into Opportunities "It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities." --Eric Hoffer Visualization And Imagination "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." --Wayne Dyer The Relativity Of Luxury "The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury." --Charlie Chaplin Future Pace It Future pacing is a phenomenal strategy that reminds your prospect of all the reasons they made the decision to purchase or sign up with you, and transfers all of those reasons to the future, reminding them why, through triggers and signals that you will have installed. Selling With Emotion You know what's overrated? Rationality. I know, I know, it's important to have your feet firmly planted on the ground in order to grow roots, in order to have a foundation, a base from which to work. But in business the idea of rationality has become supreme and I think we've lost something in the transition from 'mom and pop' business to faceless corporations that is an integral part of selling our products or services, especially when dealing with an affluent clientle. The Art Of Maintaining Boundaries In Rapport "It is the business of thought to define things, to find the boundaries; thought, indeed, is a ceaseless process of definition. It is the business of art to give things shape." -Vance Palmer Picking And Choosing: Power Persuasion Metaphors While the concept of 'energy' may seem new-agey, I personally find it integral to the understanding of self, which is the first step in understanding persuasion. The Forbidden As Persuasion 'Forbid us something, and that thing we desire.' - Geoffrey Chaucer Awareness Pattern In Persuasion "The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." -Henry Miller A Linguistical Dance: Repetition In Threes "Rhythm is something you either have or don't have, and when you have it, you have it all over." -Elvis Presley
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